Misconceptions, Episode 8: Miscarriage and work
The physical and emotional experience of miscarriage is different for everyone, and for people who are employed, another layer of complexity is involved. Operations, medications, bleeding, and grieving may have to be managed alongside the demands of family and work life. Sick leave may be taken - and anything from half a day to several days might be required, depending on the individual and their situation.
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But under New Zealand law, bereavement leave for those who suffer miscarriage wasn't a given when this series was produced in 2020. Instead, the onus was on the employee to discuss the loss with their employer and reach an agreement over whether bereavement leave may be taken. This grey area in the law had led to many women and their partners being denied the opportunity to grieve their losses.
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"Culturally we don't share with our managers or our colleagues, so it can make it more difficult for you to take leave and explain what happened and why you're not going to work," says bereaved father Behrooz Balaei. "Society is not quite kind to the father. You're the man, you're not kind of allowed to grieve. You don't have any right to spend time with your family."
Labour MP Ginny Andersen has proposed a change to the Holidays Act to ensure that people who experience pregnancy loss can access bereavement leave.
"My bill proposes a simple change that allows existing bereavement leave to be automatically made available for those who have had a miscarriage," she says. "The outpouring from the general public made me realise that this was a big issue. I've heard many stories of women being afraid to ask their employer, or not knowing what the answer would be."
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The bill made its way through the parliamentary process in 2021 - it made international news - and had wide cross-party support.
National MP Agnes Loheni says that as a woman, as a mother who has had a miscarriage, and as a business owner, she can see the importance of this change. "Across the house, men and women were supportive of this bill in terms of getting it to the next stage," she says.
"It was really good to sit and listen to the other contributions made from other MPs and other women who I didn't realise had gone through this, and it highlighted the fact that whatever we can do as a society to help support the woman and her husband through this is a good thing."
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Need support?
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If you think you may be having a miscarriage, contact your lead maternity carer - this may be a midwife or your GP. Alternatively, call Healthline free on 0800 611 116, or visit your local Urgent Medical Centre or hospital
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Visit the Miscarriage Support website or join the Facebook group.
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Visit the Sands website. Sands supports parents and families who have experienced the death of a baby.
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Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.